Thursday, January 22, 2009

Another Cinderella Story


So Monday was a half day and I didn't really have a whole terrible lot to do (nothing that I wanted to do) so I borke down and watched a tween chick flick (which is the worst kind of chick flick ever created), Another Cinderella Story starring Selena Gomez (Disney channel person) and Drew Sealy (can't rememnber where I've seen him from and I think I misspelled his name). The movie was okay, there was some humor contained within it that I found mildly amusing, but other than that it was relatively stuppid and unrealistic. What I don't understand is why covering up 1/4 of your face with a mask suddnly makes you unrecognizable. It makes no sense.

Spoiler Alert! (Quite honestly it's a chick flick, pretty sure you can figure out how it ends without actually seeing the movie so I'm not really sure why I have a spoiler alert here.)

Plot: Basically it's the story of Cinderella that takes place at a highschool. (If you don't know the story of Cinderella google it because I refuse to recount the entire thing here.) Pop-prince comes back to his hometown to go to highschool 'like a normal boy' (little bit of Pinnochio) and ends up falling for a girl he meets at the schools masked ball. But wait it was a masque so she was wearing a mask and he couldn't tell who she was and she rushes home before he learns her name. Fortunately for her she leaves behind her Zoon which he uses as a glass slipper to find her again. They fall in love and live happily ever after when she is accepted to a prestigious arts school for her dancing abilities. If you truly care and want to know more about this movie here is a 'Comlpete' (meaning uber long) Synopsis at IMdB.

It was an okay movie, better than most tween chick flicks I've seen, but I would definately not waste any time or money on renting/buying it. If you really want to watch it wait till it's on TV again and tivo it like I did (or watch it live).

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Los Hermanos Jonas

Two words: Boy Band. What do boy bands have to offer the world? The answer: absolutamente nada. Seriously what is the world's fascination with the Jonas brothers? I don't get it. In my French class I sit next to two girls who are absolutely in love with different Jonas Brothers and Edward Cullen. Speaking of which what is the world's fascination with Twilight? What started it? What hooks teenage girls on boys who are fictional characters and boys that might as well be fictional characters for the chances that an average girl has at dating them (being as there are millions of girls in love with three boys).

I looked up the definition of boy band and this is the page that I got (http://www.dictionary.com/)
Boy Band - 1 dictionary result

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Main Entry:
boy band
Part of Speech:
n
Definition:
a formulaically organized pop music group of good-looking young men who can sing and dance

What does formulaically mean?
adjective
1.
made according to a formula; composed of formulas: a formulaic plot.
2.
being or constituting a formula: formulaic instructions.

In other words all Boy Bands are the same, love one, love them all.

Re-Introduction to FYE

So I've found a focus. This blog has the purpose of reviewing all kinds of movies (in theaters, on DVD, on TV) and a select few TV shows (I'll try to blog after every new Lost episode to guarantee that I don't fall as far behind on my blogging as I have in the past, plus it gives me an excuse to watch Lost) that I have watched. I will give a biased yet honest review on how I felt the movie/show was. I also will occasionally go on a random rant (see post below) when I am bored, stressed, or have nothing better to do.

Jogging Woes followed by a Random Rant

I successfully injured myself jogging again and so I regrettfully admit defeat by winter. I will not jog again until the snow is off the ground, but to stay in shape until then I shall use the trainer...........bike..........thing which will hopefully save my leg/foot from untimely destruction. I kinda need my foot. This completely off-topic and random post brought to you by cabin fever and stir craze. I have recently become a fan of ebay on which I was able to buy something brandnew cheaper than I found it at Wal-Mart (which I despise). If Wal-Mart and Target had to fight to the death my money would be on Wal-Mart. If the innaguration is Tuesday does that mean that the Biggest Loser won't be on? This would be the second time that last years election has interfered with said show, sad. Lost is on on Monday and Wednesday, but not on Tuesday. Thursday is a sad day, on Thirsday night one goes to bed almost completely defeated by a week of school and tests and homework with only the thought that one must get through yet another day of school before the end of the week. Tomorrow is Monday, which would usually be a bad thing except for the fact that it is a half day meaning that after doing nothing at school for almost four hours I will be able to come home and relax while cramming for an ap bio test that I successfully avoided with the snow days we had last week. I did manage to get most of my homework done though, although I should have gotten it all done being as I had five days of break. I did not spend those days huddled in front of the TV though, actually I had to bundle up in Carharts everyday and go to the Barn to feed my poor horse who is living in the pasture and had to weather the cold. I cannot wait until Spring and I will not have to make up anymore snow days because I will be in Spain. Hooray! End Rant.

Oy Vey!

Over the past week I attended school for 3 hours. Between being anemic, doctor visits, and the bitter cold I successfully avoided quite a bit of school, but had I actually attended school like everybody else I would only have spent 11.5ish hours out of a normal 40 hours, this is because I reside in Iowa (not the potato state, the corn state, and yes we do have electricity here). Monday there was an early dismissal due to a blizzard, Tuesday there was a late start due to the same blizzard (8 inches of fresh snow on top of the 6.5+ already existing which then proceeded to blow and drift), Wednesday, Thursday, Friday there was no school due to the fact that the air temperature never breached -13 (degrees fahrenheit) and the windchill never got above -30. We set record lows (for the viewing area of KCRG TV9) with -29 air temp and -51ish wind chill. As I recall the buses wouldn't start because the fuel was gelled up. This week was quite enjoyable and tomorrow is an ealry dismissal day thanks to conferences so score 1 for the students (except for the AP students such as myself who need to have read 50something chapters of the AP Bio book by the beginning of May regardless of the weather. Terrific.

Bolt

Last night I went to the cheap theater with a few family friends and saw Bolt which was actually a cute movie. It was a kids movie so it had a rather basic/happy plot, but there were some funny parts for adults as well. Basically it was about a TV star dog that has been raised to think that everything that happens/that he does on his television show is real. So when 'his person' Penny is kidnapped by the villain on the show he thinks that she has been kidnapped in real life and therefore escapes the set of the show and is consequentally mailed cross country from Hollywood to New York where he meets a street savvy abandoned cat who he forces o help him find Penny. Along the way the two become friends and meet a psychotic hamster who is a life-long fan of Bolt. Bolt eventually discovers that he is not a real superhero and is taught how to behave like a normal dog by the cat. At the endPenny quits her job as an actress and the cat, dog, ahmster, and people settle down to live a normal life on a ranch in the country.

Cute movie, good childhood lesson.

You, Me, and Dupree

Friday night there was nothing on so I decided to settle for watching a chick flick whic started out to be remotely a remotely funny movie and ended up to be a rather stupid movie. One, the humor was miniscule, two the lead guy needed to grow a brain (if he had simply shared his trouble with his wife the huge mess he created at the end could have been avoided), and three Owen Wilson's character was not all there mentally (which one might think would make him come off funny, but after watching the guy make stupid decisions for an hour and a half it got really old).

Plot: Movie starts out with the wedding (in Hawaii) of Carl and Molly with Dupree as the best man. Right off the bat Dupree starts 'ruining' Carl's new life by arriving on the wrong island (which coincidentally turns out to be the island golf course built by the survivors {namely Hurley} of flight 815 on Lost) and laughing at Carl's father-in-laws bad jokes about how much of threat Carl is not as far as the family business goes. Despite this when Dupree loses his job (and appartment and car) for attending the wedding Carl allows Dupree to move in with Molly and him. While living with them Dupree has many epic fails (the worst of which being bringing a date home and almost burning the house down) that get him kicked out of the house. After kicking Dupree out Molly and Carl go out to celebrate their freedom only to see Dupree sitting on a bench in the rain. Molly makes the decision (against Carl's advice) to ask Dupree to stay with them again and Dupree (after accepting the invitation) decides to clean up the mess he made in their house. Meanwhile at work Molly's father continuosly 'insults' Carl (by accepting his proposal on a housing district, changing everything about it, making Carl head of the team, not inviting Carl on a fishing trip, and suggesting that Carl get a vasectomy) which Carl fails to elaborate on to Molly who is bonding with Dupree because Carl is never around leaving Dupree to pick up his slack. Carl (who is very stressed) takes Molly and Dupree's friendship the wrong way and gets into a few fights with Molly, and finally snaps one night at dinner when Molly's father invites Dupree on a fishing trip. Carl attacks Dupree and gets himslef kicked out of the house by Molly. Now you may (or may not) be wondering why there is no spoiler alert, well that would be because I didn't finish the movie, it was too boring and too stupid for my taste and therefore was undeserving of my time. So if you are a sap who has no problem with innuendo and the like than go ahead and watch this mindless movie, otherwise don't waste the time or the energy it takes to hold your eyes open for two hours.

Friday, January 16, 2009

"Dream Runner" (Last Night's Episode of ER)

For all the harping I do on Grey's Anatomy I suppose I'm a little bit of a hippocrite or at least very biased as I am a fan of ER (more of an ER re-runs fan than a fan of the newest season), but anyway thanks to the colder than arctic weather we've been having I was able to actually watch ER when it was on TV rather than taping it and watching it later which is what I usually do. This season of ER is the last season the writers are trying new and daring things with the plot as well as bringing back lots of old characters to guest star. Last night's episode focused on Dr. Neela Rasgotra a resident surgeon who is about to become an attending surgeon. The episode presented three scenarios of how Neela could have handled a emergency situations she was presented with while working at County General Hospital as well as decision about her future as a surgeon and a future relationship she could possibly have with another doctor and old friend at county. The focus was on the possibilities in life if we were able to go back in time and try things differently, if you could fix mistakes you had made. It was one of the better episodes I have seen this year. It posed an interesting question, if you could go back and do something differently would it even make a difference? I am quite curious to see how the writers branch off of this episode next week.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Mamma Mia!


Excellent music with kind of a yawner plot. The recent movie was very well-acted and the singing/music was absolutely marvelous (made me want to find a group of people and go skipping down the street singing 'Dancing Queen'), the plot was kind of boring, but the music made up for it.

Plot: A girl who is getting married wants to find her real father (there are 3 possibilities) and have him walk her down the aisle at her wedding. So she goes behind everyone's backs (her mother, bridesmaids, and fiancee) and invites them to the wedding thinking that she will immediately be able to tell who her real father is. Unfortunately she is not able to tell and everyone finds out that the three guys are there before the wedding including her mother who doesn't particularly want to see any of them ever again.

Spoiler Alert!

In the end her mother walks her down the aisle, the three fellows agree to each make up a third of her father, the girl doesn't get married, but her mother ends up marrying one of the fellows = everyone is so happy that they burst into song.

Good music, catchy tunes, simplistic plot.

Chick Flicks and Hallmark Movies

The two types of movies named in the title are the most irksome types of movies around. Yes being a girl I enjoy the occasional chick flick because they always end happily and involve some sort of complicated romance, but if you think about the concept of chick flicks too hard you eventually feel sad because you know that there is about a one in a million chance of what happened in the movie ever happening to you. Chick Flicks usually involve a girl finding the perfect guy and in turn finding true love. A girl who watches too many chick flicks usually gets into the mentality that it is incredibly possible to fall in love within a week and get married to live a perfect life with the man of their dreams within a month, now call me a cynic, but that is never going to happen, at least not that fast. The fact that the girls in these movies always end up getting their hearts broken and then mended generally by the same guy is also depressing because I'm sure that pretty much every girl out there knows that said scenario is generally not the case. Also chick flicks are generally incredibly predictable, the viewer knows exactly how the movie is going to end the moment all of the characters are introduced, where is the fun in watching a movie when you know how it's going to end? The same is true with Hallmark movies. They usually portray a 'real life' situation in which some sort of problem arises and then is resolved through a bunch of family-friendly events. Hallmark movies are meant to teach a lesson about family and love that either most people are already aware of and do not need pounded into their heads or other people don't care about. (Disregard the last part of the last sentence, I realize how confusing it reads.)

My question is how on earth do these movies manage to flourish in the box offices and on TV?
My point is that these movies are pointless, depressing, and stupid when watched over and over, but okay for the spontaneous/occasional viewing.

For the Rest of the Lost Junkies Out There

Here are the season 5 promos (as you can tell I have very little to do today and I have writers block):





January 21st (only six days 15 hours, and 56 minutes until a most exciting television event)


Most people are incredibly excited for January 20th when President-Elect Obama loses the 'Elect' from his title. I however am not really excited for the 20th at all, I don't really enjoy watching politically biased news reports about what is practically old news. It was exciting when Obama won the election and made history and the swearing in seems to be much less exciting especially when it is being followed up with the new season of 'Lost' premiering on the 21st. I am truly a 'Lost' junkie (which ought to be blatantly obvious by now) and I could care less about the 20th. I do realize this is a potentially offensive and pointless post, but I don't really care, it's how I feel. I would much rather watch a 2 hour season premier of a high-paced, mind-churning, thought-provoking show than watch Lord-knows-how-many-hours of dry speeches, formality, and masked loathing by separate political parties. I can also guarantee that I am not the only person in the U.S. that feels this way. Now that I have successfully written about 100 words of absolutely nothing I feel that I have ineffectively ranted about this topic and should probably quit writing while I'm only a furlong behind.

Hancock


I actually enjoyed this movie which was good because I watched it the day after I finished Wanted. I thought it had a good plot that was fresh and new when compared to all the other 'superhero' movies out there in the world. I absolutely could not predict the end at the beginning, I suspected the twist but was still a little surprised when it happened (I only suspected it because they sort of ruined it in the trailer).

Spoiler Alert!

Plot: The movie is about a dysfunctional, scruffy, alcoholic, belligerent superhero (Hancock) who has his own special way of doing good. Basically he gets the job done (i.e. gets the bad guy arrested) with complete disregard to the damage done to the city, other people, or the delinquents themselves. One day he saves a 'modern day superhero' (guy who is trying to save the world by getting big companies to give away some of their products i.e. food, medicine, etc. for free to people who really need it) from being hit by a train, the guy (named Ray) thanks Hancock profusely and offers to help him with his public image (the public hates him because of the way he gets things done). Eventually Hancock's ignorant ways get him into enough trouble that the public calls for his arrest (which of course would be impossible because bullets bounce off of Hancock and he listens to no one) , but Ray suggests that Hancock allow himself to be incarcerated letting the city go without him until the people realize how much they relied on him. (I forgot to mention that Ray's wife hates Hancock.) Anyway the public finally realizes that they need Hancock and so the clean-shaven, fully suited, newly mannered Hancock comes to the public's aid in a gentlemanly fashion. Ray, his wife Mary, and Hancock go to dinner that night and Hancock reveals that he cannot remember anything past 80ish years ago when he woke up in a hospital as a superhuman and that he doesn't age. That night it is also revealed that Mary is also a superhuman and that she doesn't want anyone to know about it. The next day she and Hancock get into a superhuman spat which leads to destruction of some of the downtown area. She reveals to Hancock that people such as themselves are created in pairs to protect the world and that hey are the only two left. She tells him that when they get too close to each other they lose their superhuman abilities, that this happens so that they can choose to settle down, fall in love, grow old, and die if they want to. I won't give the way the rest of the movie, but I will say that in the end Hancock moves to New York.

I liked this one a lot, it had a great plot and was well-acted. I recommend it to sci-fi, superhero, Will Smith, and action movie fans.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Wanted


This movie was a letdown for me. It looked like an innocent enough shoot 'em up action movie, but ended up being belligerence for belligerence's sake with a dash of gore. I found this to be incredibly stupid and rather obnoxious. Every other breath someone was swearing and every other move someone was getting either the crap kicked out of them or killed.

Spoiler Alert!

Wow, what a great plot, so incredibly sophisticated that I couldn't possibly have guessed the end in the first ten minutes (which might have been the best part of the movie). Basically the movie is about the son of this incredible assassin who was part of the 'Fraternity' which was a group of weavers (who decided they needed something more interesting to do everyday than make table clothes) who found a mystical cloth that was mysteriously being inscribed with a secret blanket code by one of the weaving machines. The incredibly bored and slightly psychopathic weavers magically decoded the code, found out that what was in the code was a bunch of names of people that 'fate' wanted them to kill, so they did so without question. Anyway, this guy's son is named Wesley. Wesley is a normal guy with a lying, cheating, annoying girlfriend who is having an affair with Wesley's best friend. Wesley has a normal job with a horrible boss. He also has 'anxiety attacks' when he is under stress. One night when Wesley is getting his anxiety attack prescription refilled he encounters Fox (or moreover Fox encounters him) who seemingly saves his life from some creepy fellow who has been stalking him since he entered the store. She 'rescues' Wesley and takes him to a Fraternity safehouse where he is given a gun and forced to shoot the wings off of a fly, after doing so he goes home and wakes up the next morning realizing that the previous job was not a horrific nightmare. That day the stress of work, his best friend, and his girlfriend makes him crack, he quits his job and smacks his friend with a keyboard before exiting the building and leaving in a car with Fox to the Fraternity headquarters which turns out to be a tapestry factory. There we re-encounter the head hancho who's name is Sloan (which to Alias fans such as myself was a red flag) who asks Wesley in many more words if he thinks he has what it takes to join the Fraternity, stupid child Wesley says "I'm ready." then is taken to a room to start his 'training.' He is asked why he's there and when he gives the wrong answer he is brutally beat upon until he passes out. He wakes up in a tub of white goo that apparently has healing powers to fix any physical (but obviously not mental) malady. The care-taker of the people in the tubs is an estranged Russian man who enjoys blowing up rats (just like Wesley's father according to said man). The rest of Wesley's training involves knife-fighting, bullet curving/gun shooting, running on top of trains, and grabbing one of the weaving instruments off of the machine. He is also continually asked the question and beaten when he gives the wrong answer until he answers that he is there because he doesn't know who he is. After he successfully completes the rest of his training he is shown the magical tapestry and given his first assignment (person to assassinate). I just realized that I forgot to mention earlier that Wesley's 'panic attacks' are the result of an overburst of adrenaline which allows him to experience life in slow motion; all the members of the Fraternity also possess this quality. He is also told that Crow (the stalker guy from the store who 'tried to kill him' on that fateful night) was the man who killed Wesley's father and that Wesley is supposed to kill him. After Wesley comletes his first assignment he is attacked in an alley by Crow who leaves the first 'traceable' bullet he has ever used. Wesley then tracks down the guy who made the bullet, Fox follows Wesley to meet the guy and shows up when the guy pulls a gun on Wesley, the guy sets up a meet with Crow at a train station, Wesley and Fox watch the guy from a closet while he waits for Crow, the guy runs, Wesley sees Crow and follows him onto a train while Fox chases the guy, blah, blah, blah, Fox crashes a car into the train in order to board, bad things happen, the train is derailed on a bridge, Wesley is hanging out the side of the train car he is in about to fall to his death when Crow grabs his arm (saving his life), Wesley shoots Crow who falls backward pulling Wesley onto the train, and then my favorite part ever:
Wesley: "You killed my father, bastard (some other profanity takes place)!"
Crow: "No Wesley I am YOUR FATHER." (dies)
Wesley: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wesley (to Fox): "Did you know?"
Fox: "Duh, his name came up and you were the only one he wouldn't kill, your name came up too."
Wesley: (shoots window he is sitting on and escapes with Crow's body, wakes up in bath tub of white goo)
The rest of the movie is Wesley getting revenge on the Fraternity, he finds out his father quit the Freaternity after finding Sloan's name encoded in the cloth (big surprise there) then he lets a bunch of explosive rats loose in the factory then goes in guns blazing and kills all his trainers save for Fox. The almost final scene is him standing in the middle of a circle of Fraternity assassins at the headquarters with no ammo and lots of guns pointed at him. He accuses Sloan of having his name in the cloth and Sloan reveals that every person standing in the room has had their name come up and if the other assassins want to follow the code of the Fraternity they should kill themselves otherwise they should kill Wesley. Exit Mr. Sloan. One of the assassins is about to kill Wesley when Fox curves a bullet around the room so that it kills everyone in the ircle including herself. Sad moment. Wesley monologues in a voiceover as you see someone who looks like him sitting at a desk at his old office, Sloan shows up and holds a gun to the guy's head then swears when he finds out that the person sitting before him is in fact not Wesey, but a decoy. Oh crap! Then Wesley shoots him with an untraceable bullet from across town then swears at the audience. End worst movie I saw this year.

If you like to swear and kill people with unbelievable stunts than this movie is for you (it's out on DVD) otherwise save your money and your time.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Marley & Me

This was possibly the best movie I have seen in theaters all year. By the end of the movie the theater was silent except for the occasional sniffle of someone crying in the audience. The trailer wasn't lying when it made the statements that you would laugh and cry because indeed anyone with a heart and a good sense of humor will laugh and cry.

Plot: You follow the lives of John and Jennifer Grogan starting at their wedding (before Marley the dog is even born) when they are both starting reporters living in Florida. John takes Jennifer to pick out a puppy as an early birthday present because to distract her from wanting to have kids so soon. They ask the price of the puppies and learn that the puppy that Jennifer is holding is $100 cheeper than the rest earning him the title of 'Clearence Puppy' as well as a new home. Two weeks later John brings Marley home while Jennifer is on a business trip to KS. On the ride home Marley gets his name in honor of Bob Marley. From this point on we watch Marley grow up with the Grogans, he turns out to be the 'Worst Dog in the World' which is proven when he gets kicked out of obedience school. His antics are many and hilarious, but you truly fall in love with him when the Grogans lose there first baby and Marley is there to comfort them. Eventually the Grogans end up with three kids (Patrick, Connor, and Colleen/Whoops). John gets his big hit as a journalist when he is asked to take up a column and he writes mostly about Marley's many stunts as well as some other random, yet amusing topics. The family moves twice, eventually ending up in Pennsylvania, by which time the kids are getting big and Marley is getting old and beginning to suffer from some age-related maladies.

Spoiler: One night Marley runs off and is found lying under a tree with a twisted stomach -> John rushes him to the vet who untwists his stomach. He pulls through and comes home the next day. His age really begins to show after this as he no longer walks up stairs or frolics as he used to, he also loses most of his hearing. Eventually he twists his stomach again and has to be put to sleep. He is buried in the front lawn along with a few momentos of his life (including the necklace he swallowed at the beginning of the movie).

I highly recomend this movie to anyone looking for a movie to see in theaters this holiday season. I would say kids 10 and up could probably see it, kids below that age are too young for the length of the movie and some of the humor.

This is the only movie I have ever seen that made me want to read the book that it was based off of. I loved it.