Thursday, January 29, 2009
Just a thought for the person grading this blog...
Since I happen to have in the neighborhood of 50 kajillion posts for the month of January and only need to have around 12 is there a chance that some of these might count for another month, say February?
This Horrible French Movie I Watched in French Class
So Monday - Tuesday in French were spent watching a movie entitled Les Parapluies de Charbourg or in English The Umbrellas of Charbourg. Starting off, who in their right mind watching a movie about umbrellas? Anywho it was sort of like The Notebook, only without the incredibly satisfying and happy ending (I mean to the love story as the two people ding at the end was not incredibly happy or satisfying although if you look at it if they had lived/one of them had died it would have meant years more of suffering/confusion for either both or the one who survived).
This is another spectacularly predictable movie so I'm not really sure it needs a spoiler alert, but I will give it one anyway because I suppose the end is rather shocking so: Spoiler Alert!
Plot: This movie can easily be described as Juno meets The Notebook meets sad. (By the way it is an opera so it is all sung.) It starts off with a guy named Guy (pronounced Guheeeeeeee, like key only with a 'g' instead of a 'k') ending his shift working at a gas station and rushing of to meet his girlfriend Genevieve (pronounced John-veee-ehv) outside her and her other's umbrella store (seriously, is it possible to make a living off of selling umbrellas?). Genevieve tells her mother that she is going to an opera with one of her (girl) friends so her mother allows her to go out. That night Genevieve and Guy decide that they want to get married, have children, and that their first daughter will be named Francoise (pronounced Frahn-swa-zzzz). Afterword Genevieve is questioned by her other and ends up telling her mother all about Guy including that they are going to get married. This greatly upsets her mother (who was upset anyway because she learned that the umbrella shop was failing miserably in sales and that she and her daughter need to sell as much as possible inorder to keep the shop afloat) who gets very angry with her and forbids her to see Guy ever again. Despite the forbiddence (is that a word? it is now) by her mother Genevieve goes to see Guy the next night and is met with the horrible news that he received a draft letter and is going of to fight for France in Africa. The two young lovers are very sad and despair about their misfortune and how uch they love each other in a rather long song. Then they go back to Guy's aunt's appartment (yes he is living with his aunt who is asleep in the next roo the entire time) and...(those of you who have seen Mamma Mia! understand the ...). The next day Genevieve and Guy go to the train station together and profess their undying love for each other promising to wait for and always love each other. Then Genevieve goes home and cries to her mother. Within the next few days the two (Genevieve and her mum) go to a jewelers and try to sell the mother's necklace to make a little extra cash so that they can keep their happy little shop open. There they meet a guy whose last name is Cassard (pronounced Kah-sar[d]) who promises to sell the necklace for them and bring them the cash since the jeweler cannot. He does so and the notherbegins to fall for him. Later on Genevieve informs her mother that she is pregnant by Guy which once again greatly upsets her mother. Not too long after Cassard comes over for dinner and after dinner (when Genevieve has just gone to bed in the neighboring room) asks the noother for Genevieve's hand in marriage (wich also greatly distresses the lady). He states that he is going to Paris and will be back in 3 months when he will accept Genevieves answer. Genevieve decides that she cannot a)have the baby on her own and b)count on Guy to come back from the war to marry her and help her raise their child so she decides that if Cassard graciously accepts that she is pregnant by another man she will marry him (so much for 'I'll love you forever and wait for you Guy.'). Cassard graciously accepts her pregnancy and her hand in marriage, they sell the umbrella shop and move to Paris (Genevieve, mother, Cassard, and coming child). Finally Guy returns and is heart-broken to find that his beloved Genevieve did not wait for him as she had promised. He does some stupid manly things and decides to quit his job and live off of his pension. Then his aunt dies. He collects the life insurance, falls in love with his aunts maid, marries her, and has a kid with her who he names Francois (the boy version of Francoise pronounced Frahn-swaaaa). A few years later at Christmas time (Guy now owns a gas station and his kid is 3 years old) Genevieve and her daughter Francoise are passing through Charbourg and stop at Guy's gas station to get gas. They have a brief and rather quiet confrontation, he decides not to meet his daughter, she leaves, and the movie ends.
What a depressing chick flick. It wasn't happy at all, but at least it was somewhat realistic to life. There wasn't really a point to the movie though and when it was over I was wondering why soeone would even waste their time or money making it as there WAS NO POINT. If you really want to see this movie I believe the entire thing is on Youtube so watch it there.
This is another spectacularly predictable movie so I'm not really sure it needs a spoiler alert, but I will give it one anyway because I suppose the end is rather shocking so: Spoiler Alert!
Plot: This movie can easily be described as Juno meets The Notebook meets sad. (By the way it is an opera so it is all sung.) It starts off with a guy named Guy (pronounced Guheeeeeeee, like key only with a 'g' instead of a 'k') ending his shift working at a gas station and rushing of to meet his girlfriend Genevieve (pronounced John-veee-ehv) outside her and her other's umbrella store (seriously, is it possible to make a living off of selling umbrellas?). Genevieve tells her mother that she is going to an opera with one of her (girl) friends so her mother allows her to go out. That night Genevieve and Guy decide that they want to get married, have children, and that their first daughter will be named Francoise (pronounced Frahn-swa-zzzz). Afterword Genevieve is questioned by her other and ends up telling her mother all about Guy including that they are going to get married. This greatly upsets her mother (who was upset anyway because she learned that the umbrella shop was failing miserably in sales and that she and her daughter need to sell as much as possible inorder to keep the shop afloat) who gets very angry with her and forbids her to see Guy ever again. Despite the forbiddence (is that a word? it is now) by her mother Genevieve goes to see Guy the next night and is met with the horrible news that he received a draft letter and is going of to fight for France in Africa. The two young lovers are very sad and despair about their misfortune and how uch they love each other in a rather long song. Then they go back to Guy's aunt's appartment (yes he is living with his aunt who is asleep in the next roo the entire time) and...(those of you who have seen Mamma Mia! understand the ...). The next day Genevieve and Guy go to the train station together and profess their undying love for each other promising to wait for and always love each other. Then Genevieve goes home and cries to her mother. Within the next few days the two (Genevieve and her mum) go to a jewelers and try to sell the mother's necklace to make a little extra cash so that they can keep their happy little shop open. There they meet a guy whose last name is Cassard (pronounced Kah-sar[d]) who promises to sell the necklace for them and bring them the cash since the jeweler cannot. He does so and the notherbegins to fall for him. Later on Genevieve informs her mother that she is pregnant by Guy which once again greatly upsets her mother. Not too long after Cassard comes over for dinner and after dinner (when Genevieve has just gone to bed in the neighboring room) asks the noother for Genevieve's hand in marriage (wich also greatly distresses the lady). He states that he is going to Paris and will be back in 3 months when he will accept Genevieves answer. Genevieve decides that she cannot a)have the baby on her own and b)count on Guy to come back from the war to marry her and help her raise their child so she decides that if Cassard graciously accepts that she is pregnant by another man she will marry him (so much for 'I'll love you forever and wait for you Guy.'). Cassard graciously accepts her pregnancy and her hand in marriage, they sell the umbrella shop and move to Paris (Genevieve, mother, Cassard, and coming child). Finally Guy returns and is heart-broken to find that his beloved Genevieve did not wait for him as she had promised. He does some stupid manly things and decides to quit his job and live off of his pension. Then his aunt dies. He collects the life insurance, falls in love with his aunts maid, marries her, and has a kid with her who he names Francois (the boy version of Francoise pronounced Frahn-swaaaa). A few years later at Christmas time (Guy now owns a gas station and his kid is 3 years old) Genevieve and her daughter Francoise are passing through Charbourg and stop at Guy's gas station to get gas. They have a brief and rather quiet confrontation, he decides not to meet his daughter, she leaves, and the movie ends.
What a depressing chick flick. It wasn't happy at all, but at least it was somewhat realistic to life. There wasn't really a point to the movie though and when it was over I was wondering why soeone would even waste their time or money making it as there WAS NO POINT. If you really want to see this movie I believe the entire thing is on Youtube so watch it there.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Things To Do When You're Supposed to Be Blogging (at school)
I didn't come up with any of these lists (they came from http://www.saviodsilva.com/lists.htm), but they do make me laugh so I thought I'd share the merriment:
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"
Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing,grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
51. Write lists using missing numbers for school assignments.
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"
Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing,grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
51. Write lists using missing numbers for school assignments.
Might Brighten A Day
23 Essential Truths:
(This is a good example of my train of thought.)
From: http://www.saviodsilva.com/lists.htm
Ways to be annoying:
* Tell your friends, four days prior to their party, that you can't attend because you're not in the mood.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars, to see if they slow down.
* Practice making faxmodem noises.
* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
* Set alarms for random times.
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
* Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
* Wear your pants backwards.
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
* Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
* Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
* Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-Cyrillic-landscape mode.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* don't use any punctuation either
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
* Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
* Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?)
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog "Dog".
* Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to "interface" with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
* Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
* Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
* Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't ricket."
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
* Call in sick, then show up.
(This is a good example of my train of thought.)
From: http://www.saviodsilva.com/lists.htm
Really Bored?1. A king size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. A ceiling Fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.
9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
22. It will however make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Ways to be annoying:
* Tell your friends, four days prior to their party, that you can't attend because you're not in the mood.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars, to see if they slow down.
* Practice making faxmodem noises.
* If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
* Drum on every available surface.
* Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
* Staple papers in the middle of the page.
* Ask 800 operators for dates.
* Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
* Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
* Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
* Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
* Set alarms for random times.
* Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
* Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
* Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
* Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
* Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
* Honk and wave to strangers.
* Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
* Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
* Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
* Wear your pants backwards.
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
* Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
* Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
* Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-Cyrillic-landscape mode.
* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
* only type in lowercase.
* don't use any punctuation either
* Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
* Pay for your dinner with pennies.
* Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
* Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
* Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
* Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
* Light road flares on a birthday cake.
* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
* Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
* Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
* At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
* When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
* Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
* As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
* Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
* Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
* Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?)
* Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
* Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
* Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
* Drive half a block.
* Name your dog "Dog".
* Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
* Ask people what gender they are.
* Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
* Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
* Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
* Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
* Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
* While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
* Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
* Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
* Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
* Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
* Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
* Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
* Wear a LOT of cologne.
* Ask to "interface" with someone.
* Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
* Sing along at the opera.
* Mow your lawn with scissors.
* At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
* Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
* Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
* Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
* Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
* Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't ricket."
* Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
* Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
* Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
* Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
* Never make eye contact.
* Never break eye contact.
* Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
* Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
* Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
* Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
* Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
* Make appointments for the 31st of September.
* Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
* Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.
* Call in sick, then show up.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
LOST season 5 premiere!!!!
Most exciting event of the year so far for me (although watching the innaguration was exciting) happened last night at 8:00PM central time when season 5 of LOST premiered. After watching it I think the show may have gone a little far with the sci-fi thing (the island flashing through time is a tad bit extreme), but I suppose it fits the story (which got more complicated).
Basically what we found out last night was that when the island dissappeared in the season 4 finale it began a cycle of jumping forward and backward in time and it's doing this because Jack, Kate, Aaron, Hurley, Sayid, and Sun left. In turn the only way to stop the time-jumping is to bring the Oceanic Six (plus Ben, Locke's body, and possibly Desmond) back to the island to stay forever. So while the people on the island are experiencing major troubles as they jump through time the Oceanic Six are having some difficulties of their own. Jack has joined up with Ben and they are working to get everyone who left back to the island (because of something Locke said before he died), Kate is on the run with Aaron because a couple of lawyers came to her house and demanded blood samples from the two of them to determine their actual relationship (which is nothing because Claire is Aaron's biological mother), Hurley and Sayid are running from the law because Sayid's safehouse was ambushed and Hurley got a picture taken of him covered in catsup (which looked like blood) holding a gun, over a dead guy, and Sun has possibly joined forces with Charles Widmore (who is evil) in order to kill Ben (who is possibly eviler).
Storyline of those off the island:
- Ben and Jack are trying to round up the Oceanic Six and take them bakc to the island.
- After receiving a disturbing housecall from tow lawyers with a warrant for blood samples Kate packs provisions (clothes, money, gun), takes Aaron and starts driving around CA aimlessly trying to figure out what to do.
- Sun is held 'against her will' for a short while at an airport by Charles Widmore while trying to leave for Los Angeles (they discuss killing Ben).
- Sayid and Hurley are attacked, Hurley becomes a triple murder suspect and Sayid is hit with two tranquilizer darts which put him in a close to comatose state of being.
- Ben takes Locke's body to a meatlocker where he asks a mysterious woman (who seems to know everything about him and the island) to keep it fresh and safe.
- Kate meets Sun in Sun's penthouse suite at a hotel in LA. They discuss what happened with the lawyers, Sun suggests that Kate 'take care of them' (inferring that since they did not reveal her secret they are looking to take Aaron away) and the two of them then discuss Jin's death (which wasn't really anyones fault, but in a round-about way could have been seen as Jack or Kate's fault).
- Hurley takes Sayid to his parent's house to hide. The police stake-out the house so when Sayid's condition deteriorates Hurley's father takes him to Jack while Hurley stays home and tell his mother the truth about what really happened during the 108 days.
- Jack takes Sayid to the hospital and phones Ben to let him know that he has Sayid.
- Ben shows up at Hurley's house and asks him to come back to the island causing Hurley to turn himself into the police admitting to killing threee people that he didn't kill.
Storyline of those on the Island who are not named John Locke:
- The remainign survivors are distressed to find their camp gone after the island 'disappears.'
- Dan Faraday tells them that they are jumping through space-time and they all head to the remains of the hatch/Swan Station. After two more flashes they find the Swan Station intact. No one answers the door so Sawyer and the others head back to the beach. Dan stays behind and tells Desmond (who eventually answers that hatch door) that he has to go to Oxford when he gets off the island (which Desmond does).
- Charlotte gets a bloody nose and starts losing her memory.
- After another flash the survivors on the beach are attacked, split up, and head for the creek.
- Sawyer and Julie are captured.
- Locke shows up in the nick of time to save Sawyer and Juliet from an unpleasant fate.
Locke's tale:
- After the first flash Locke finds himself to be alone (he was previously with Richard Alpert and the 'Others.'
- Locke is almost hit by Eko's old buddies airplane as it crashes so he heads to the crash site where Ethan shoots him in the leg and is about to kill him when the island flashes again.
- Richard helps fix Locke's leg up and tells him what he has to do when the island flashes again (he gives him a compass that will help future/past Richard believe what future Locke will say to him, and tells Locke that he has to bring the Oceanic Six bakc to the island which he will accomplish by dying.
- Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn.......
Another Cinderella Story
So Monday was a half day and I didn't really have a whole terrible lot to do (nothing that I wanted to do) so I borke down and watched a tween chick flick (which is the worst kind of chick flick ever created), Another Cinderella Story starring Selena Gomez (Disney channel person) and Drew Sealy (can't rememnber where I've seen him from and I think I misspelled his name). The movie was okay, there was some humor contained within it that I found mildly amusing, but other than that it was relatively stuppid and unrealistic. What I don't understand is why covering up 1/4 of your face with a mask suddnly makes you unrecognizable. It makes no sense.
Spoiler Alert! (Quite honestly it's a chick flick, pretty sure you can figure out how it ends without actually seeing the movie so I'm not really sure why I have a spoiler alert here.)
Plot: Basically it's the story of Cinderella that takes place at a highschool. (If you don't know the story of Cinderella google it because I refuse to recount the entire thing here.) Pop-prince comes back to his hometown to go to highschool 'like a normal boy' (little bit of Pinnochio) and ends up falling for a girl he meets at the schools masked ball. But wait it was a masque so she was wearing a mask and he couldn't tell who she was and she rushes home before he learns her name. Fortunately for her she leaves behind her Zoon which he uses as a glass slipper to find her again. They fall in love and live happily ever after when she is accepted to a prestigious arts school for her dancing abilities. If you truly care and want to know more about this movie here is a 'Comlpete' (meaning uber long) Synopsis at IMdB.
It was an okay movie, better than most tween chick flicks I've seen, but I would definately not waste any time or money on renting/buying it. If you really want to watch it wait till it's on TV again and tivo it like I did (or watch it live).
Spoiler Alert! (Quite honestly it's a chick flick, pretty sure you can figure out how it ends without actually seeing the movie so I'm not really sure why I have a spoiler alert here.)
Plot: Basically it's the story of Cinderella that takes place at a highschool. (If you don't know the story of Cinderella google it because I refuse to recount the entire thing here.) Pop-prince comes back to his hometown to go to highschool 'like a normal boy' (little bit of Pinnochio) and ends up falling for a girl he meets at the schools masked ball. But wait it was a masque so she was wearing a mask and he couldn't tell who she was and she rushes home before he learns her name. Fortunately for her she leaves behind her Zoon which he uses as a glass slipper to find her again. They fall in love and live happily ever after when she is accepted to a prestigious arts school for her dancing abilities. If you truly care and want to know more about this movie here is a 'Comlpete' (meaning uber long) Synopsis at IMdB.
It was an okay movie, better than most tween chick flicks I've seen, but I would definately not waste any time or money on renting/buying it. If you really want to watch it wait till it's on TV again and tivo it like I did (or watch it live).
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Los Hermanos Jonas
Two words: Boy Band. What do boy bands have to offer the world? The answer: absolutamente nada. Seriously what is the world's fascination with the Jonas brothers? I don't get it. In my French class I sit next to two girls who are absolutely in love with different Jonas Brothers and Edward Cullen. Speaking of which what is the world's fascination with Twilight? What started it? What hooks teenage girls on boys who are fictional characters and boys that might as well be fictional characters for the chances that an average girl has at dating them (being as there are millions of girls in love with three boys).
I looked up the definition of boy band and this is the page that I got (http://www.dictionary.com/)
Boy Band - 1 dictionary result
Sponsored LinksLove the Jonas Brothers?Register Now to Win an Autographed Guitar by the Jonas Brothers!en.terra.com
Know Your Boy Bands?Take This Boy Band Quiz & Find Out! Browse Our Fun Quizzes Now.LifeScript.com
Kai Body BufferShop For Kai Body Buffer at Yahoo! Compare Prices, Merchants & Reviewsshopping.yahoo.com
Main Entry:
boy band
Part of Speech:
n
Definition:
a formulaically organized pop music group of good-looking young men who can sing and dance
What does formulaically mean?
adjective
1.
made according to a formula; composed of formulas: a formulaic plot.
2.
being or constituting a formula: formulaic instructions.
In other words all Boy Bands are the same, love one, love them all.
I looked up the definition of boy band and this is the page that I got (http://www.dictionary.com/)
Boy Band - 1 dictionary result
Sponsored LinksLove the Jonas Brothers?Register Now to Win an Autographed Guitar by the Jonas Brothers!en.terra.com
Know Your Boy Bands?Take This Boy Band Quiz & Find Out! Browse Our Fun Quizzes Now.LifeScript.com
Kai Body BufferShop For Kai Body Buffer at Yahoo! Compare Prices, Merchants & Reviewsshopping.yahoo.com
Main Entry:
boy band
Part of Speech:
n
Definition:
a formulaically organized pop music group of good-looking young men who can sing and dance
What does formulaically mean?
adjective
1.
made according to a formula; composed of formulas: a formulaic plot.
2.
being or constituting a formula: formulaic instructions.
In other words all Boy Bands are the same, love one, love them all.
Re-Introduction to FYE
So I've found a focus. This blog has the purpose of reviewing all kinds of movies (in theaters, on DVD, on TV) and a select few TV shows (I'll try to blog after every new Lost episode to guarantee that I don't fall as far behind on my blogging as I have in the past, plus it gives me an excuse to watch Lost) that I have watched. I will give a biased yet honest review on how I felt the movie/show was. I also will occasionally go on a random rant (see post below) when I am bored, stressed, or have nothing better to do.
Jogging Woes followed by a Random Rant
I successfully injured myself jogging again and so I regrettfully admit defeat by winter. I will not jog again until the snow is off the ground, but to stay in shape until then I shall use the trainer...........bike..........thing which will hopefully save my leg/foot from untimely destruction. I kinda need my foot. This completely off-topic and random post brought to you by cabin fever and stir craze. I have recently become a fan of ebay on which I was able to buy something brandnew cheaper than I found it at Wal-Mart (which I despise). If Wal-Mart and Target had to fight to the death my money would be on Wal-Mart. If the innaguration is Tuesday does that mean that the Biggest Loser won't be on? This would be the second time that last years election has interfered with said show, sad. Lost is on on Monday and Wednesday, but not on Tuesday. Thursday is a sad day, on Thirsday night one goes to bed almost completely defeated by a week of school and tests and homework with only the thought that one must get through yet another day of school before the end of the week. Tomorrow is Monday, which would usually be a bad thing except for the fact that it is a half day meaning that after doing nothing at school for almost four hours I will be able to come home and relax while cramming for an ap bio test that I successfully avoided with the snow days we had last week. I did manage to get most of my homework done though, although I should have gotten it all done being as I had five days of break. I did not spend those days huddled in front of the TV though, actually I had to bundle up in Carharts everyday and go to the Barn to feed my poor horse who is living in the pasture and had to weather the cold. I cannot wait until Spring and I will not have to make up anymore snow days because I will be in Spain. Hooray! End Rant.
Oy Vey!
Over the past week I attended school for 3 hours. Between being anemic, doctor visits, and the bitter cold I successfully avoided quite a bit of school, but had I actually attended school like everybody else I would only have spent 11.5ish hours out of a normal 40 hours, this is because I reside in Iowa (not the potato state, the corn state, and yes we do have electricity here). Monday there was an early dismissal due to a blizzard, Tuesday there was a late start due to the same blizzard (8 inches of fresh snow on top of the 6.5+ already existing which then proceeded to blow and drift), Wednesday, Thursday, Friday there was no school due to the fact that the air temperature never breached -13 (degrees fahrenheit) and the windchill never got above -30. We set record lows (for the viewing area of KCRG TV9) with -29 air temp and -51ish wind chill. As I recall the buses wouldn't start because the fuel was gelled up. This week was quite enjoyable and tomorrow is an ealry dismissal day thanks to conferences so score 1 for the students (except for the AP students such as myself who need to have read 50something chapters of the AP Bio book by the beginning of May regardless of the weather. Terrific.
Bolt
Last night I went to the cheap theater with a few family friends and saw Bolt which was actually a cute movie. It was a kids movie so it had a rather basic/happy plot, but there were some funny parts for adults as well. Basically it was about a TV star dog that has been raised to think that everything that happens/that he does on his television show is real. So when 'his person' Penny is kidnapped by the villain on the show he thinks that she has been kidnapped in real life and therefore escapes the set of the show and is consequentally mailed cross country from Hollywood to New York where he meets a street savvy abandoned cat who he forces o help him find Penny. Along the way the two become friends and meet a psychotic hamster who is a life-long fan of Bolt. Bolt eventually discovers that he is not a real superhero and is taught how to behave like a normal dog by the cat. At the endPenny quits her job as an actress and the cat, dog, ahmster, and people settle down to live a normal life on a ranch in the country.
Cute movie, good childhood lesson.
Cute movie, good childhood lesson.
You, Me, and Dupree
Friday night there was nothing on so I decided to settle for watching a chick flick whic started out to be remotely a remotely funny movie and ended up to be a rather stupid movie. One, the humor was miniscule, two the lead guy needed to grow a brain (if he had simply shared his trouble with his wife the huge mess he created at the end could have been avoided), and three Owen Wilson's character was not all there mentally (which one might think would make him come off funny, but after watching the guy make stupid decisions for an hour and a half it got really old).
Plot: Movie starts out with the wedding (in Hawaii) of Carl and Molly with Dupree as the best man. Right off the bat Dupree starts 'ruining' Carl's new life by arriving on the wrong island (which coincidentally turns out to be the island golf course built by the survivors {namely Hurley} of flight 815 on Lost) and laughing at Carl's father-in-laws bad jokes about how much of threat Carl is not as far as the family business goes. Despite this when Dupree loses his job (and appartment and car) for attending the wedding Carl allows Dupree to move in with Molly and him. While living with them Dupree has many epic fails (the worst of which being bringing a date home and almost burning the house down) that get him kicked out of the house. After kicking Dupree out Molly and Carl go out to celebrate their freedom only to see Dupree sitting on a bench in the rain. Molly makes the decision (against Carl's advice) to ask Dupree to stay with them again and Dupree (after accepting the invitation) decides to clean up the mess he made in their house. Meanwhile at work Molly's father continuosly 'insults' Carl (by accepting his proposal on a housing district, changing everything about it, making Carl head of the team, not inviting Carl on a fishing trip, and suggesting that Carl get a vasectomy) which Carl fails to elaborate on to Molly who is bonding with Dupree because Carl is never around leaving Dupree to pick up his slack. Carl (who is very stressed) takes Molly and Dupree's friendship the wrong way and gets into a few fights with Molly, and finally snaps one night at dinner when Molly's father invites Dupree on a fishing trip. Carl attacks Dupree and gets himslef kicked out of the house by Molly. Now you may (or may not) be wondering why there is no spoiler alert, well that would be because I didn't finish the movie, it was too boring and too stupid for my taste and therefore was undeserving of my time. So if you are a sap who has no problem with innuendo and the like than go ahead and watch this mindless movie, otherwise don't waste the time or the energy it takes to hold your eyes open for two hours.
Plot: Movie starts out with the wedding (in Hawaii) of Carl and Molly with Dupree as the best man. Right off the bat Dupree starts 'ruining' Carl's new life by arriving on the wrong island (which coincidentally turns out to be the island golf course built by the survivors {namely Hurley} of flight 815 on Lost) and laughing at Carl's father-in-laws bad jokes about how much of threat Carl is not as far as the family business goes. Despite this when Dupree loses his job (and appartment and car) for attending the wedding Carl allows Dupree to move in with Molly and him. While living with them Dupree has many epic fails (the worst of which being bringing a date home and almost burning the house down) that get him kicked out of the house. After kicking Dupree out Molly and Carl go out to celebrate their freedom only to see Dupree sitting on a bench in the rain. Molly makes the decision (against Carl's advice) to ask Dupree to stay with them again and Dupree (after accepting the invitation) decides to clean up the mess he made in their house. Meanwhile at work Molly's father continuosly 'insults' Carl (by accepting his proposal on a housing district, changing everything about it, making Carl head of the team, not inviting Carl on a fishing trip, and suggesting that Carl get a vasectomy) which Carl fails to elaborate on to Molly who is bonding with Dupree because Carl is never around leaving Dupree to pick up his slack. Carl (who is very stressed) takes Molly and Dupree's friendship the wrong way and gets into a few fights with Molly, and finally snaps one night at dinner when Molly's father invites Dupree on a fishing trip. Carl attacks Dupree and gets himslef kicked out of the house by Molly. Now you may (or may not) be wondering why there is no spoiler alert, well that would be because I didn't finish the movie, it was too boring and too stupid for my taste and therefore was undeserving of my time. So if you are a sap who has no problem with innuendo and the like than go ahead and watch this mindless movie, otherwise don't waste the time or the energy it takes to hold your eyes open for two hours.
Friday, January 16, 2009
"Dream Runner" (Last Night's Episode of ER)
For all the harping I do on Grey's Anatomy I suppose I'm a little bit of a hippocrite or at least very biased as I am a fan of ER (more of an ER re-runs fan than a fan of the newest season), but anyway thanks to the colder than arctic weather we've been having I was able to actually watch ER when it was on TV rather than taping it and watching it later which is what I usually do. This season of ER is the last season the writers are trying new and daring things with the plot as well as bringing back lots of old characters to guest star. Last night's episode focused on Dr. Neela Rasgotra a resident surgeon who is about to become an attending surgeon. The episode presented three scenarios of how Neela could have handled a emergency situations she was presented with while working at County General Hospital as well as decision about her future as a surgeon and a future relationship she could possibly have with another doctor and old friend at county. The focus was on the possibilities in life if we were able to go back in time and try things differently, if you could fix mistakes you had made. It was one of the better episodes I have seen this year. It posed an interesting question, if you could go back and do something differently would it even make a difference? I am quite curious to see how the writers branch off of this episode next week.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Mamma Mia!
Excellent music with kind of a yawner plot. The recent movie was very well-acted and the singing/music was absolutely marvelous (made me want to find a group of people and go skipping down the street singing 'Dancing Queen'), the plot was kind of boring, but the music made up for it.
Plot: A girl who is getting married wants to find her real father (there are 3 possibilities) and have him walk her down the aisle at her wedding. So she goes behind everyone's backs (her mother, bridesmaids, and fiancee) and invites them to the wedding thinking that she will immediately be able to tell who her real father is. Unfortunately she is not able to tell and everyone finds out that the three guys are there before the wedding including her mother who doesn't particularly want to see any of them ever again.
Spoiler Alert!
In the end her mother walks her down the aisle, the three fellows agree to each make up a third of her father, the girl doesn't get married, but her mother ends up marrying one of the fellows = everyone is so happy that they burst into song.
Good music, catchy tunes, simplistic plot.
Chick Flicks and Hallmark Movies
The two types of movies named in the title are the most irksome types of movies around. Yes being a girl I enjoy the occasional chick flick because they always end happily and involve some sort of complicated romance, but if you think about the concept of chick flicks too hard you eventually feel sad because you know that there is about a one in a million chance of what happened in the movie ever happening to you. Chick Flicks usually involve a girl finding the perfect guy and in turn finding true love. A girl who watches too many chick flicks usually gets into the mentality that it is incredibly possible to fall in love within a week and get married to live a perfect life with the man of their dreams within a month, now call me a cynic, but that is never going to happen, at least not that fast. The fact that the girls in these movies always end up getting their hearts broken and then mended generally by the same guy is also depressing because I'm sure that pretty much every girl out there knows that said scenario is generally not the case. Also chick flicks are generally incredibly predictable, the viewer knows exactly how the movie is going to end the moment all of the characters are introduced, where is the fun in watching a movie when you know how it's going to end? The same is true with Hallmark movies. They usually portray a 'real life' situation in which some sort of problem arises and then is resolved through a bunch of family-friendly events. Hallmark movies are meant to teach a lesson about family and love that either most people are already aware of and do not need pounded into their heads or other people don't care about. (Disregard the last part of the last sentence, I realize how confusing it reads.)
My question is how on earth do these movies manage to flourish in the box offices and on TV?
My point is that these movies are pointless, depressing, and stupid when watched over and over, but okay for the spontaneous/occasional viewing.
My question is how on earth do these movies manage to flourish in the box offices and on TV?
My point is that these movies are pointless, depressing, and stupid when watched over and over, but okay for the spontaneous/occasional viewing.
For the Rest of the Lost Junkies Out There
Here are the season 5 promos (as you can tell I have very little to do today and I have writers block):
January 21st (only six days 15 hours, and 56 minutes until a most exciting television event)
Most people are incredibly excited for January 20th when President-Elect Obama loses the 'Elect' from his title. I however am not really excited for the 20th at all, I don't really enjoy watching politically biased news reports about what is practically old news. It was exciting when Obama won the election and made history and the swearing in seems to be much less exciting especially when it is being followed up with the new season of 'Lost' premiering on the 21st. I am truly a 'Lost' junkie (which ought to be blatantly obvious by now) and I could care less about the 20th. I do realize this is a potentially offensive and pointless post, but I don't really care, it's how I feel. I would much rather watch a 2 hour season premier of a high-paced, mind-churning, thought-provoking show than watch Lord-knows-how-many-hours of dry speeches, formality, and masked loathing by separate political parties. I can also guarantee that I am not the only person in the U.S. that feels this way. Now that I have successfully written about 100 words of absolutely nothing I feel that I have ineffectively ranted about this topic and should probably quit writing while I'm only a furlong behind.
Hancock
I actually enjoyed this movie which was good because I watched it the day after I finished Wanted. I thought it had a good plot that was fresh and new when compared to all the other 'superhero' movies out there in the world. I absolutely could not predict the end at the beginning, I suspected the twist but was still a little surprised when it happened (I only suspected it because they sort of ruined it in the trailer).
Spoiler Alert!
Plot: The movie is about a dysfunctional, scruffy, alcoholic, belligerent superhero (Hancock) who has his own special way of doing good. Basically he gets the job done (i.e. gets the bad guy arrested) with complete disregard to the damage done to the city, other people, or the delinquents themselves. One day he saves a 'modern day superhero' (guy who is trying to save the world by getting big companies to give away some of their products i.e. food, medicine, etc. for free to people who really need it) from being hit by a train, the guy (named Ray) thanks Hancock profusely and offers to help him with his public image (the public hates him because of the way he gets things done). Eventually Hancock's ignorant ways get him into enough trouble that the public calls for his arrest (which of course would be impossible because bullets bounce off of Hancock and he listens to no one) , but Ray suggests that Hancock allow himself to be incarcerated letting the city go without him until the people realize how much they relied on him. (I forgot to mention that Ray's wife hates Hancock.) Anyway the public finally realizes that they need Hancock and so the clean-shaven, fully suited, newly mannered Hancock comes to the public's aid in a gentlemanly fashion. Ray, his wife Mary, and Hancock go to dinner that night and Hancock reveals that he cannot remember anything past 80ish years ago when he woke up in a hospital as a superhuman and that he doesn't age. That night it is also revealed that Mary is also a superhuman and that she doesn't want anyone to know about it. The next day she and Hancock get into a superhuman spat which leads to destruction of some of the downtown area. She reveals to Hancock that people such as themselves are created in pairs to protect the world and that hey are the only two left. She tells him that when they get too close to each other they lose their superhuman abilities, that this happens so that they can choose to settle down, fall in love, grow old, and die if they want to. I won't give the way the rest of the movie, but I will say that in the end Hancock moves to New York.
I liked this one a lot, it had a great plot and was well-acted. I recommend it to sci-fi, superhero, Will Smith, and action movie fans.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wanted
This movie was a letdown for me. It looked like an innocent enough shoot 'em up action movie, but ended up being belligerence for belligerence's sake with a dash of gore. I found this to be incredibly stupid and rather obnoxious. Every other breath someone was swearing and every other move someone was getting either the crap kicked out of them or killed.
Spoiler Alert!
Wow, what a great plot, so incredibly sophisticated that I couldn't possibly have guessed the end in the first ten minutes (which might have been the best part of the movie). Basically the movie is about the son of this incredible assassin who was part of the 'Fraternity' which was a group of weavers (who decided they needed something more interesting to do everyday than make table clothes) who found a mystical cloth that was mysteriously being inscribed with a secret blanket code by one of the weaving machines. The incredibly bored and slightly psychopathic weavers magically decoded the code, found out that what was in the code was a bunch of names of people that 'fate' wanted them to kill, so they did so without question. Anyway, this guy's son is named Wesley. Wesley is a normal guy with a lying, cheating, annoying girlfriend who is having an affair with Wesley's best friend. Wesley has a normal job with a horrible boss. He also has 'anxiety attacks' when he is under stress. One night when Wesley is getting his anxiety attack prescription refilled he encounters Fox (or moreover Fox encounters him) who seemingly saves his life from some creepy fellow who has been stalking him since he entered the store. She 'rescues' Wesley and takes him to a Fraternity safehouse where he is given a gun and forced to shoot the wings off of a fly, after doing so he goes home and wakes up the next morning realizing that the previous job was not a horrific nightmare. That day the stress of work, his best friend, and his girlfriend makes him crack, he quits his job and smacks his friend with a keyboard before exiting the building and leaving in a car with Fox to the Fraternity headquarters which turns out to be a tapestry factory. There we re-encounter the head hancho who's name is Sloan (which to Alias fans such as myself was a red flag) who asks Wesley in many more words if he thinks he has what it takes to join the Fraternity, stupid child Wesley says "I'm ready." then is taken to a room to start his 'training.' He is asked why he's there and when he gives the wrong answer he is brutally beat upon until he passes out. He wakes up in a tub of white goo that apparently has healing powers to fix any physical (but obviously not mental) malady. The care-taker of the people in the tubs is an estranged Russian man who enjoys blowing up rats (just like Wesley's father according to said man). The rest of Wesley's training involves knife-fighting, bullet curving/gun shooting, running on top of trains, and grabbing one of the weaving instruments off of the machine. He is also continually asked the question and beaten when he gives the wrong answer until he answers that he is there because he doesn't know who he is. After he successfully completes the rest of his training he is shown the magical tapestry and given his first assignment (person to assassinate). I just realized that I forgot to mention earlier that Wesley's 'panic attacks' are the result of an overburst of adrenaline which allows him to experience life in slow motion; all the members of the Fraternity also possess this quality. He is also told that Crow (the stalker guy from the store who 'tried to kill him' on that fateful night) was the man who killed Wesley's father and that Wesley is supposed to kill him. After Wesley comletes his first assignment he is attacked in an alley by Crow who leaves the first 'traceable' bullet he has ever used. Wesley then tracks down the guy who made the bullet, Fox follows Wesley to meet the guy and shows up when the guy pulls a gun on Wesley, the guy sets up a meet with Crow at a train station, Wesley and Fox watch the guy from a closet while he waits for Crow, the guy runs, Wesley sees Crow and follows him onto a train while Fox chases the guy, blah, blah, blah, Fox crashes a car into the train in order to board, bad things happen, the train is derailed on a bridge, Wesley is hanging out the side of the train car he is in about to fall to his death when Crow grabs his arm (saving his life), Wesley shoots Crow who falls backward pulling Wesley onto the train, and then my favorite part ever:
Wesley: "You killed my father, bastard (some other profanity takes place)!"
Crow: "No Wesley I am YOUR FATHER." (dies)
Wesley: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wesley (to Fox): "Did you know?"
Fox: "Duh, his name came up and you were the only one he wouldn't kill, your name came up too."
Wesley: (shoots window he is sitting on and escapes with Crow's body, wakes up in bath tub of white goo)
The rest of the movie is Wesley getting revenge on the Fraternity, he finds out his father quit the Freaternity after finding Sloan's name encoded in the cloth (big surprise there) then he lets a bunch of explosive rats loose in the factory then goes in guns blazing and kills all his trainers save for Fox. The almost final scene is him standing in the middle of a circle of Fraternity assassins at the headquarters with no ammo and lots of guns pointed at him. He accuses Sloan of having his name in the cloth and Sloan reveals that every person standing in the room has had their name come up and if the other assassins want to follow the code of the Fraternity they should kill themselves otherwise they should kill Wesley. Exit Mr. Sloan. One of the assassins is about to kill Wesley when Fox curves a bullet around the room so that it kills everyone in the ircle including herself. Sad moment. Wesley monologues in a voiceover as you see someone who looks like him sitting at a desk at his old office, Sloan shows up and holds a gun to the guy's head then swears when he finds out that the person sitting before him is in fact not Wesey, but a decoy. Oh crap! Then Wesley shoots him with an untraceable bullet from across town then swears at the audience. End worst movie I saw this year.
If you like to swear and kill people with unbelievable stunts than this movie is for you (it's out on DVD) otherwise save your money and your time.
Spoiler Alert!
Wow, what a great plot, so incredibly sophisticated that I couldn't possibly have guessed the end in the first ten minutes (which might have been the best part of the movie). Basically the movie is about the son of this incredible assassin who was part of the 'Fraternity' which was a group of weavers (who decided they needed something more interesting to do everyday than make table clothes) who found a mystical cloth that was mysteriously being inscribed with a secret blanket code by one of the weaving machines. The incredibly bored and slightly psychopathic weavers magically decoded the code, found out that what was in the code was a bunch of names of people that 'fate' wanted them to kill, so they did so without question. Anyway, this guy's son is named Wesley. Wesley is a normal guy with a lying, cheating, annoying girlfriend who is having an affair with Wesley's best friend. Wesley has a normal job with a horrible boss. He also has 'anxiety attacks' when he is under stress. One night when Wesley is getting his anxiety attack prescription refilled he encounters Fox (or moreover Fox encounters him) who seemingly saves his life from some creepy fellow who has been stalking him since he entered the store. She 'rescues' Wesley and takes him to a Fraternity safehouse where he is given a gun and forced to shoot the wings off of a fly, after doing so he goes home and wakes up the next morning realizing that the previous job was not a horrific nightmare. That day the stress of work, his best friend, and his girlfriend makes him crack, he quits his job and smacks his friend with a keyboard before exiting the building and leaving in a car with Fox to the Fraternity headquarters which turns out to be a tapestry factory. There we re-encounter the head hancho who's name is Sloan (which to Alias fans such as myself was a red flag) who asks Wesley in many more words if he thinks he has what it takes to join the Fraternity, stupid child Wesley says "I'm ready." then is taken to a room to start his 'training.' He is asked why he's there and when he gives the wrong answer he is brutally beat upon until he passes out. He wakes up in a tub of white goo that apparently has healing powers to fix any physical (but obviously not mental) malady. The care-taker of the people in the tubs is an estranged Russian man who enjoys blowing up rats (just like Wesley's father according to said man). The rest of Wesley's training involves knife-fighting, bullet curving/gun shooting, running on top of trains, and grabbing one of the weaving instruments off of the machine. He is also continually asked the question and beaten when he gives the wrong answer until he answers that he is there because he doesn't know who he is. After he successfully completes the rest of his training he is shown the magical tapestry and given his first assignment (person to assassinate). I just realized that I forgot to mention earlier that Wesley's 'panic attacks' are the result of an overburst of adrenaline which allows him to experience life in slow motion; all the members of the Fraternity also possess this quality. He is also told that Crow (the stalker guy from the store who 'tried to kill him' on that fateful night) was the man who killed Wesley's father and that Wesley is supposed to kill him. After Wesley comletes his first assignment he is attacked in an alley by Crow who leaves the first 'traceable' bullet he has ever used. Wesley then tracks down the guy who made the bullet, Fox follows Wesley to meet the guy and shows up when the guy pulls a gun on Wesley, the guy sets up a meet with Crow at a train station, Wesley and Fox watch the guy from a closet while he waits for Crow, the guy runs, Wesley sees Crow and follows him onto a train while Fox chases the guy, blah, blah, blah, Fox crashes a car into the train in order to board, bad things happen, the train is derailed on a bridge, Wesley is hanging out the side of the train car he is in about to fall to his death when Crow grabs his arm (saving his life), Wesley shoots Crow who falls backward pulling Wesley onto the train, and then my favorite part ever:
Wesley: "You killed my father, bastard (some other profanity takes place)!"
Crow: "No Wesley I am YOUR FATHER." (dies)
Wesley: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wesley (to Fox): "Did you know?"
Fox: "Duh, his name came up and you were the only one he wouldn't kill, your name came up too."
Wesley: (shoots window he is sitting on and escapes with Crow's body, wakes up in bath tub of white goo)
The rest of the movie is Wesley getting revenge on the Fraternity, he finds out his father quit the Freaternity after finding Sloan's name encoded in the cloth (big surprise there) then he lets a bunch of explosive rats loose in the factory then goes in guns blazing and kills all his trainers save for Fox. The almost final scene is him standing in the middle of a circle of Fraternity assassins at the headquarters with no ammo and lots of guns pointed at him. He accuses Sloan of having his name in the cloth and Sloan reveals that every person standing in the room has had their name come up and if the other assassins want to follow the code of the Fraternity they should kill themselves otherwise they should kill Wesley. Exit Mr. Sloan. One of the assassins is about to kill Wesley when Fox curves a bullet around the room so that it kills everyone in the ircle including herself. Sad moment. Wesley monologues in a voiceover as you see someone who looks like him sitting at a desk at his old office, Sloan shows up and holds a gun to the guy's head then swears when he finds out that the person sitting before him is in fact not Wesey, but a decoy. Oh crap! Then Wesley shoots him with an untraceable bullet from across town then swears at the audience. End worst movie I saw this year.
If you like to swear and kill people with unbelievable stunts than this movie is for you (it's out on DVD) otherwise save your money and your time.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Marley & Me
This was possibly the best movie I have seen in theaters all year. By the end of the movie the theater was silent except for the occasional sniffle of someone crying in the audience. The trailer wasn't lying when it made the statements that you would laugh and cry because indeed anyone with a heart and a good sense of humor will laugh and cry.
Plot: You follow the lives of John and Jennifer Grogan starting at their wedding (before Marley the dog is even born) when they are both starting reporters living in Florida. John takes Jennifer to pick out a puppy as an early birthday present because to distract her from wanting to have kids so soon. They ask the price of the puppies and learn that the puppy that Jennifer is holding is $100 cheeper than the rest earning him the title of 'Clearence Puppy' as well as a new home. Two weeks later John brings Marley home while Jennifer is on a business trip to KS. On the ride home Marley gets his name in honor of Bob Marley. From this point on we watch Marley grow up with the Grogans, he turns out to be the 'Worst Dog in the World' which is proven when he gets kicked out of obedience school. His antics are many and hilarious, but you truly fall in love with him when the Grogans lose there first baby and Marley is there to comfort them. Eventually the Grogans end up with three kids (Patrick, Connor, and Colleen/Whoops). John gets his big hit as a journalist when he is asked to take up a column and he writes mostly about Marley's many stunts as well as some other random, yet amusing topics. The family moves twice, eventually ending up in Pennsylvania, by which time the kids are getting big and Marley is getting old and beginning to suffer from some age-related maladies.
Spoiler: One night Marley runs off and is found lying under a tree with a twisted stomach -> John rushes him to the vet who untwists his stomach. He pulls through and comes home the next day. His age really begins to show after this as he no longer walks up stairs or frolics as he used to, he also loses most of his hearing. Eventually he twists his stomach again and has to be put to sleep. He is buried in the front lawn along with a few momentos of his life (including the necklace he swallowed at the beginning of the movie).
I highly recomend this movie to anyone looking for a movie to see in theaters this holiday season. I would say kids 10 and up could probably see it, kids below that age are too young for the length of the movie and some of the humor.
This is the only movie I have ever seen that made me want to read the book that it was based off of. I loved it.
Plot: You follow the lives of John and Jennifer Grogan starting at their wedding (before Marley the dog is even born) when they are both starting reporters living in Florida. John takes Jennifer to pick out a puppy as an early birthday present because to distract her from wanting to have kids so soon. They ask the price of the puppies and learn that the puppy that Jennifer is holding is $100 cheeper than the rest earning him the title of 'Clearence Puppy' as well as a new home. Two weeks later John brings Marley home while Jennifer is on a business trip to KS. On the ride home Marley gets his name in honor of Bob Marley. From this point on we watch Marley grow up with the Grogans, he turns out to be the 'Worst Dog in the World' which is proven when he gets kicked out of obedience school. His antics are many and hilarious, but you truly fall in love with him when the Grogans lose there first baby and Marley is there to comfort them. Eventually the Grogans end up with three kids (Patrick, Connor, and Colleen/Whoops). John gets his big hit as a journalist when he is asked to take up a column and he writes mostly about Marley's many stunts as well as some other random, yet amusing topics. The family moves twice, eventually ending up in Pennsylvania, by which time the kids are getting big and Marley is getting old and beginning to suffer from some age-related maladies.
Spoiler: One night Marley runs off and is found lying under a tree with a twisted stomach -> John rushes him to the vet who untwists his stomach. He pulls through and comes home the next day. His age really begins to show after this as he no longer walks up stairs or frolics as he used to, he also loses most of his hearing. Eventually he twists his stomach again and has to be put to sleep. He is buried in the front lawn along with a few momentos of his life (including the necklace he swallowed at the beginning of the movie).
I highly recomend this movie to anyone looking for a movie to see in theaters this holiday season. I would say kids 10 and up could probably see it, kids below that age are too young for the length of the movie and some of the humor.
This is the only movie I have ever seen that made me want to read the book that it was based off of. I loved it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
